playfulkitten - Funny Forwards

Midwest in July

You know you're in the midwest in July when...

• The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
• Hot water now comes out of both taps
• You can make sun tea instantly
• You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron
• The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly
• You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car
• You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window
• You actually burn your hand opening the car door
• You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am
• Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is: "What if I get knocked out & end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
• You realize that asphalt has a liquid state
• The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground
• The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out, add butter, salt, and pepper
• Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs
• The cows are giving evaporated milk
• The trees are whistling for the dogs