playfulkitten - Funny Forwards: Church Bulletin Bloopers

Church Bulletin Bloopers

I got a real kick out of these, even if I had to blink once on a few & read them more closely, and then I'd think "Oh, yeah! Whoops!" Anyway, supposedly every one of these appeared in various church bulletins or were announced during various church services. Some are typos, and others are the result of not thinking about the wording before using it.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Methodist Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8pm in the recreational hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water"
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."
Smile at someone who is hard to live. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the detonation of some older ones.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
Thursday at 5 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers will please meet the Minister in his study.
This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10:00. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."